Writerly Insecurities

[only_more_love]

Not much time to post right now, but I wanted to jot down some thoughts while they were fresh in my mind. I wrote and posted Why I Write:  A Personal Statement because I knew there would be moments like this--when I would look at my writing and think:

1.  Who the hell am I kidding?  I have no idea what I'm doing.
2.  It's pedestrian, derivative, boring, and just plain bad. 
3.  There's so much I have to learn; I don't even know if I'm capable of learning it. 
4.  What if I just don't have anything meaningful to say?

Sometimes I think I am my own worst enemy.

Comments

[hoosabrat.livejournal.com]

1. I don't think most great writers do. Otherwise, how would they ever arrive somewhere new?

2. In all honesty, I know a lot of "writers" on LJ, but you are one of the (if not the) only ones who manages to not only tell a story not only entertainingly, but lyrically, poetically, eloquently. My mark of "literature" vs. "fiction" has always been in the crafting of the writing itself -- when you read a story and think, "My God, there's just not a single other way of saying that that would have improved it." You do that with fanfiction.

3. I think somebody's already said it, but I don't think learning ever ends. You've just got to keep moving forward and accept that you'll never learn everything, but you'll get a lot further trying than giving up now.

4. If you don't now, you will eventually. And you never know; something you find meaningless could have enormous meaning for someone reading your story.

BTW, I don't think you're alone in these kinds of insecurities at all. I hear this from every storyteller on my flist, whether they write fanfiction, original fiction, or screenplays.