Bones Fanpoetry: REM

[only_more_love]

Title: REM
Spoilers: For The Pain in the Heart.
Timeline: Set after The Pain in the Heart.
Character: Temperance Brennan
Feedback is always appreciated. Thank you.
Notes: This is my first (and perhaps my last) venture into fanpoetry.  *g*  Forgive me; I couldn't resist playing in a different sandbox.

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REM

She dreams:

Scarlet silk rivers slip
through trembling fingers--

Come on, Booth.

Warm hands breathe
against cool glass

and

Eyes shaded like dirt
and old blood blink back--

I'm sorry.

A car coughs;
snow stutters from a barren sky--

Silent night, holy night
Come back, please.

Daylight grasps her
shoulder, shaking her free
from Morpheus' embrace.

Comments

[jadeakira.livejournal.com]

The new sandbox suits you. Really. I've never been one for epic reviews, but I would just like to say that your first step into fan poetry was beautiful.

[plazmah.livejournal.com]

I love the tone of the last passage, so evocative!

[dabhug.livejournal.com]

I liked it. Stark with amazing imagery.

[tempertemper77.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure why you are asking for forgiveness... ;)

This was utterly beautiful.

I wouldn't even know where to start with poetry. Really sweetie, fab job :)

[freevortex.livejournal.com]

Just as you write amazing prose, you write beautiful poetry.

[buffyangellvr23.livejournal.com]

wow awesome :) I often find myself in awe of poets because I've written some but can't seem to get any out now...and even when I do, it's never as good as what I read. I hope you do more poetry.

[mdemvizi.livejournal.com]

I usually am a hater of poetry but this was beautiful :)

[ggjunkie33.livejournal.com]

Beautiful, I loved it (and I don't usually like poetry)! Fantastic imagery and descriptiveness, amazing job!

[makd.livejournal.com]

Nice sandbox. :-)

Neatly lyrical, wonderfully visual. The dream, the nightmare - they're one for her...

Once again: nice.

[rollsofrice.livejournal.com]

Beyond brilliant-- the personification is especially apt: hands against glass, cars, and the snow. Daylight grasps her/shoulder, shaking her free/from Morpheus' embrace-- I like this a lot, the thought of an "embrace". (Often I find references to Greek Mythology more poetic than other things. It's funny like that.)

I found the line starting silent night, holy night to be a little odd, though. It seems a little awkward there, with the come back, please right after.

Overall, though, this poem is awesome in its simultaneous simplicity/complexity. Thank you for sharing.

[gah-warrior.livejournal.com]

That's funny; I actually especially liked the silent night holy night line. My interpretation is that Brennan is really reaching out to anything, even to a god she doesn't believe in, to bring Booth back. Strange how different things work for different people!

[odakota-rose.livejournal.com]

Hey now, I like this a lot. I love that it's lyrical and flows beautifully, and also that it's somewhat freeverse (if that's the correct term...)
It's lovely. :)