Double Drabble #56: Shadows

[only_more_love]

Title:  Shadows
Series: All That Lies Between Us
Characters: Booth, Brennan
Word Count: 200
Summary:  Booth reflects on the thing he refuses to discuss.
Rating: T for some language and somewhat disturbing themes
Warning: See the rating.
Spoilers: Through 2x18: The Killer in the Concrete.
Timeline: This is set during the final scene of 2x18: The Killer in the Concrete.
Feedback: is always appreciated. If criticizing, please be constructive.
Disclaimer: Bones and its characters belong to FOX, not me. This story is purely mean to entertain. No copyright infringement is intended.

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Click here to read the other ficlets in this series.

"Why didn't you just -- just tell them about Kennedy?" she asks, and her eyes are even bluer than they'd seemed in his head as scorching metal burned through fabric and skin.

"Well, you know, I needed to give you time to find me." That part was true. "I've been tortured worse." Worse is relative. Worse is lying in your own piss and shit for so long you don't even notice the smell anymore. Worse is when you can no longer tell where the pain ends and you begin.

These are things that will never touch her -- not if he can help it -- and by God, he can.

But he hasn't slept since she found him. He's just so fucking tired that he doesn't know if he can hold it inside him and keep it all off his face so she doesn't read it as easily as she read his X-rays.

So he lets his glance slide to the table for a breath.

The rest is easy; she provides the distraction herself, and he nearly laughs in relief. She turns her perfect face away from him and reaches for something at her side.

He prays: Thank You.

---

Author's Note: This has been niggling at my consciousness for a while, and I finally decided to just get it down. You may or may not agree with the characterization of Booth in this, but I can tell you with complete honesty that this is how I see him.

Thanks for reading. Thank you, too, to everyone who's commented on my stories. I am finally legitimately getting caught up on comment replies. :) Hope you're having a great wkend.

Comments

[lostakasha.livejournal.com]

You may or may not agree with the characterization of Booth in this, but I can tell you with complete honesty that this is how I see him.

From my perspective, your vision of Booth is 20/20. There's no such thing as an o.s.o.k. with a soft, mushy center, nor is there anyone who's lived through falaqa (at the least)with only superficial scarring. Booth says it himself: a person can be many things. I love the way you paint him.

Great stuff, as always.

[lerdo.livejournal.com]

Booth says it himself: a person can be many things.

You and he are right. Couldn't have said it better myself, so I won't try!

Thank you, sweets. So pleased you liked this.

[a2zmom.livejournal.com]

I agree with this completely. There are some things he can never get over and never share.

[lerdo.livejournal.com]

Booth's been through a lot. Sometimes it's easy to forget that.

Thanks for the fb.

[mistletoe54.livejournal.com]

Ah lerdo!Booth: so true to my perception of him too. He's a troubled man and the least he wants from Bones is companionship. Secrets would spoil that and I agree she doesn't need to share that pain.

As for the weekend? Snow. That's the last two holiday weekends in a row ruined. Thank goodness I can read this.

[lerdo.livejournal.com]

*shivers* Snow in April = not fun. Hope things are warming up on your end!

I think perhaps someday he'll talk about it a bit more -- maybe because she'll push him too. But there's no doubt in my mind that as of now he feels like that's a burden he doesn't want to place on her shoulders.

[pinktealeaves.livejournal.com]

He is strong doesn't mean he's not scared or distressed sometimes. Same for her, but she's easier to see, just because she tries to hide feelings almost always. The fact that he tries to be more emotional makes us difficult to think about him as someone that doesn't want to share some disturbing experiences. We all try to avoid talking about certain experiences.

I loved this. ;)

[lerdo.livejournal.com]

Thank you, my friend; I'm happy you liked this.

He is strong doesn't mean he's not scared or distressed sometimes.

You're absolutely right.

[makd.livejournal.com]

FWIW, your vision of Booth is the same as mine. He hides the deep; he covers the guilt; he prays; he hopes; he believes in her; he wants her to believe in him.

love this, by the way.

[mistletoe54.livejournal.com]

Why are we always on the same wavelength? Are you me or am I you? I like that we like this the same.

Can I be your friend? Pwease?

[makd.livejournal.com]

Dude: we are friends; we are friends. :-)

[lerdo.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Makd. Always a pleasure to read your comments. So why don't you write Bones fic? ;) I think you get Booth and Brennan pretty well.

[buffyangellvr23.livejournal.com]

I'm on the same wavelegnth as you :) Nice work.

[lerdo.livejournal.com]

It's nice to know that. Sometimes I think people don't want to believe that he's got his own demons.

Thanks for feedbacking this. :)

[breidablik.livejournal.com]

Worse is relative. Worse is lying in your own piss and shit for so long you don't even notice the smell anymore. Worse is when you can no longer tell where the pain ends and you begin.

No matter how much he grins/smiles/laughs/is cocky, this is Booth to me. He may not share this side, but this is part of him, defines him for me. Defines the relationships he forms.

Fantastic drabble, thank you so much for sharing!

[lerdo.livejournal.com]

Hello there. :) I don't think we've "met" before. Thanks so much for commenting; I appreciate it.

No matter how much he grins/smiles/laughs/is cocky, this is Booth to me. He may not share this side, but this is part of him, defines him for me. Defines the relationships he forms.

Yes, yes, and more yes.

[amilyn.livejournal.com]

Yes, yes...this is so much better than I could have said it.

[pipergirl07.livejournal.com]

I think your Booth is dead on. He's so used to carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders that he doesn't know how to share the burden.

I'd also like to think that Brennan turned aside because she knew he needed a moment :)

[lerdo.livejournal.com]

He's so used to carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders that he doesn't know how to share the burden.

That's a lovely way of putting it.

I think you're right about Brennan. ;)

Thanks, as always, for commenting. I've been in a bit of a writing funk, so seeing your comment made me feel a little better.

[torigates.livejournal.com]

These are things that will never touch her -- not if he can help it -- and by God, he can.

Just a great line. I really like this :)

[lerdo.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I'm glad you liked that sentence. :)

[odakota-rose.livejournal.com]

I'm so far behind on reading/reviewing it's not even funny.
That said, I absolutely love this. It's easy to miss the fact that there's a lot of wounds beneath the surface for Booth..

[lerdo.livejournal.com]

I'm so far behind on reading/reviewing it's not even funny.

Don't worry about it. It's not always practical to comment.

It's easy to miss the fact that there's a lot of wounds beneath the surface for Booth..

Exactly.

Thanks for reading and feeding, sweetie.

[odakota-rose.livejournal.com]

Don't worry about it. It's not always practical to comment.

I just feel bad about reading something and not at least letting the author know their hard work was appreciated. ;)

[sb158.livejournal.com]

Wow! Another power-packed little story. This is Booth, don't doubt that. He hides all the pain and tries to protect her, the knight in shining kevlar. As for why he didn't tell, why would he? He survived so much worse, and I think it's partly a matter of pride not to crack. No way he was going to let those pissants beat him.

[lerdo.livejournal.com]

He has survived worse; it's easy to forget that about him sometimes.

This is Booth, don't doubt that.

Thanks. :) I don't doubt it; I just know not everyone sees him that way.

Thank you for commenting. I enjoyed reading your thoughts on this.

[jal-1994.livejournal.com]

I love protective Booth! I think that that is EXACTLY like him in the show. Beautiful as always!

[lerdo.livejournal.com]

Beautiful as always!

Many thanks for your generous comments. :)

[brennanite.livejournal.com]

Great Booth:) Thank you :P

[lerdo.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[sarabones.livejournal.com]

Great drabble!
And don't worry.. Booth's characterization is perfect ;) At least for me because I so can see him doing/saying that

[lerdo.livejournal.com]

At least for me because I so can see him doing/saying that

I'm glad you thought this felt like him. Thanks for letting me know that. :)

[gah-warrior.livejournal.com]

and her eyes are even bluer than they'd seemed in his head as scorching metal burned through fabric and skin

I love this. A short description, but it says EVERYTHING. :D Nice work.

[lerdo.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Sometimes it doesn't take thousands of words to communicate your point. (Sometimes it does, but not always.)

[(Anonymous)]

I have read this a several times and just now read the comments from various. I think you captured Booth dead on. Why he doesn't share, a complex, very complex question. I don't think he even knows. I think that Bones would understand somewhat, and completely accept him, but knows that he is not ready or may never be ready...she just chooses not to push the issue as she is fighting her own demons as well. You are one of my favorite writers and I always look forward to your stories.

[lerdo.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much. I've felt kind of restless and blocked recently, so reading your comments made me feel a lot better. Thanks for that. :)

I agree that Brennan would understand and accept him regardless. In my world anyway, all of this is going to surface one day. ;) Not today, not tomorrow, but someday.

[obsidianagirl.livejournal.com]

Again with the favorite scene...You are the most wonderful fanfic author alive!

I hate to sound wierd, but I like seeing him get tortured or roughed up...A tough guy is so sexy.

Wow! Who knew I was so twisted.
Sid