So there's a parody challenge over at theboothexpress, and I couldn't resist writing a response for it.  I've deliberately kept it short in order to minimize pain.  Read it at your own risk.  *g* 

Please note this isn't how I normally write.  This is all for the purpose of parody. All errors and abuses of the English language are deliberate. Forgive me.

Every last word that follows this sentence is a part of the parody.